I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
