Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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