i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
