I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
