You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
