Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
