Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
