Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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