i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
