my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
