She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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