Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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