u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
