We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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