Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
