there's paper in my vomit.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
