Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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