just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, beer. Big fan.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
