At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
bring money and cleavage
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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