Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
