I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
