I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
