Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
