Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
