if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
