you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
