I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
