You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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