part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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