well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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