I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
