I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
