I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
