I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
