just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
