She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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