Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
