Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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