see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
