Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Less talking, more tequila
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
