Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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