So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
