just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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