the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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