Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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