I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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