He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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