Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
