You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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