I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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