So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
