I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
