adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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