i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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